Monday, August 24, 2009

Painful Parenting


It's a good thing that parenting is a marathon and not a sprint, because if it were, then Chris and I would have been disqualified tonight. We had a terrible case of poor parenting which would look like a hamstring pull or a stomach cramp gone terribly wrong.
Tonight we started baseball with Jacob. Now, here in Texas where sports are 'King', we thought we would be safe putting him in the Fall league. The one that's supposed to be less competitive and more about drills and skills. Our first night of practice was an evaluation... that lasted almost 2 1/2 hours. Started at 6pm and ended at what for Jacob is his bedtime. Bad news. He is currently off his medications and not doing so great. Bad news. He has never played a game of baseball before. More bad news.
So, at the end of all this, we should have been prepared for the meltdown that occurred over a popsicle that ended up on the bleachers and not in his mouth. Should have been prepared. His now inevitable meltdown into perseveration and irrationality should not have been so shocking to us and yet it was. We did not handle this well, although we did recover somewhat after we got home. We asked for Jacob's forgiveness, each other's forgiveness and eventually God's forgiveness.
Sometimes I wonder why God gave us Jacob- we seem so unprepared and ill-meant to parent him well. And then I remember that what I am doing when I doubt, is questioning the God of the entire universe. He knows what He is doing, even though I doubt him many times, like tonight.
And that is why I know that parenting is a marathon and not a sprint- because parenting is a euphemism for sanctification. Sanctification is not easy or short or free from care, but I know that my God is in control and that "all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." So... I cry and I pray and I repent and I kiss those sweet cheeks and hope for a better day tomorrow with God's help.