Summertime

We have always had Jacob in individual sports, for obvious reasons. Social skills are difficult for him. But this summer we prayerfully decided to try a team sport- indoor soccer. As any parent will tell you, watching your child struggle is like having your heart ripped out of your chest cavity and having it stomped on by a 300 pound man wearing cleats.

Seriously, it has been hard. Not for him mind you, but for Chris and I. It is hard to see him skipping on the field, not hearing his coach or paying attention to where the ball is on the field; knowing he is in another world somewhere- having a great time, but not here on earth with us. He has made some progress for sure and he is enjoying himself. He loves being around 2 of the kids on his team a lot and likes wearing all the 'gear.'

We want Jacob to grow, but man is it hard to experience. God is showing me the high expectations that I have not only for myself, but also my child. My beautful, imperfect child. I grieve him not being 'normal' or 'typical,' whatever you want to call it, because I know he will struggle. And despite the fact thtat I know that trials develop perseverance and faith, I so hate to see him go through them. Why? God can totally use his disorder for Jake's good, for my good, for Chris' good, for Luke's good, for a stranger's good. I guess I dont like pain, especially my child's. But, God knows that and He shows me grace everyday. So... challenge your child, because they won't grow if they don't try.